A new season!!

Ah, another season has started in the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife! Just like how every year, the cage of the animals of the werid and wonderful world of wayward wildlife has been shifted to a higher level.. this year it has been moved to the 6th level and surprisingly the same 30th street!! All the animals in the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife were pleased!

Unlike other animals in the wilderness, the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife hibernate during summer. The reason being the air is too hot during summer and the intelligent animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife prevent the accumulation of excessive heat by lowering their basal metabolism.. by hibernating!! How about winter? you asked.. well, the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife are exceptionally active during winter times all thanks to the excellent heating system in the zoo they are kept in!! Wow, isn't that just pleasant?!

Also unlike the other animals in the wilderness that come out of their hibernation tired and lazy, the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife were greeted by a hideous looking trainer upon their dehibernation!! The trainer was so hideous and huge that when the Long-limbed Giraffe and the Silver-backed Gorilla stood beside him, they resembled 2 tiny ants staring upon a mighty elephant!!! OH, what a trainer!! and his ego, knowledge and skills was as big as he was!!

The trainer gave a brief introduction of himself and none of the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife dared to move a limb, as though ensnared in his demonic aura!! The trainer taught the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife the ways to cut and reset organs of other animals in the wilderness in case anything bad should have happened when the animals are released into the wilderness again! It was not long after the training started that the hideous trainer snatched the silver-backed Gorilla's mighty keyboard, thus decapitated the silver-backed Gorilla's attempt to post in his favuorite website!

The hideous trainer's evil aura!!

After nearly a month of hardship, ALAS! the training was finally over and now the silver-backed Gorilla can finally continue typing whatever he wants with his reunited mighty keyboard!!! And like any other training, the training by the hideous trainer ended with a performance rating session. Only the Iron-board Rabbit and the mini-me Butterfly got full distinction as the Iron-board Rabbit outperformed the other animals with her ultimate eaves-dropping skills while the hideous trainer sympathized with the mini-me Butterfly's inability to perform any operations with her useless wings..

The iron-board Rabbit's victory pose!!

As the silver-backed Gorilla lay on the dry warm grasses, a gust of cold wind carressed his thick black fur, signalling the end of the hot summer...

Fracture inducing factor

A day has passed since the battered and bruised extreme trainer left the zoo. Like any other day of this week, it is blazing hot in the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife. Yesterday the animals had a easy day as the extreme trainer was too busy licking his infected wound but today, the animals kept their guards up, just in case the extreme trainer decided to go extreme again.

Not long after Mr.Sun rised to the sky, the animals worst fear came true; the extreme trainer stepped into the zoo compound, fully bandaged and with fiery anger in his eyes! He held nothing in his hands which made the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife more anxious. All the animals were speculating on what the extreme trainer has in mind. They never speculated for long as the extreme trainer, minutes later, came back into the zoo compound riding a huge robotic machine! The robotic machine looked very much like a human but with very huge upper extremities that shaped like clubs… very huge clubs. “This is bad news” the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife thought, that robotic machine can contribute to some massive fractures and extensive soft tissue compression!

The mean robotic machine with its massive clubbed metal arms

The animals, especially the panda-eyed Sow, were on their fullest guard, fearing the worst as they were not sure whether the extreme trainer was still training them or did the extreme training just got personal after the extreme trainer’s fall about a day ago! Without wasting a minute, the extreme trainer, launched his robotic machine towards the cross-missmatched Zebra. The cross-missmatched Zebra wasted no time in chewing and managed to dodge the first few blows from the massive clubbed metal arms! The extreme trainer then keyed in a combination and the robotic machine made a loud “DEEETRIIICCCCCCHH!!!!!” sound and the massive clubbed metal arms started spinning and the tip of the spinning arms connected to the cross-missmatched Zebra’s chin which sent him flying. The cross-missmatched Zebra was hurt but still managed to get to his feet and did his “Cross-missmatched-crossing-missmatch-crossed“ stunt.

The Cross-missmatched-crossing-missmatch-crossed hallucinatory effect

The cross-missmatched Zebra started stomping hard on the dusty ground and made a lot of noise with his teeth and hoof at the same. Once the dust filled the air, the cross-missmatched Zebra danced forward and backward in the dust. The “Cross-missmatched-crossing-missmatch-crossed“ stunt created an ultimate visual and auditory hallucination which will enable the cross-missmatched Zebra to either flee or backstab his opponent. As the cross-missmatched Zebra completed the stunt and was about to flee from the spot, he heard another loud “DEETRIIICCHHHH!!!” sound and multiple stabbing attacks by the massive clubbed metal arms landed directly on him. The cross-missmatched Zebra fell to the ground, fractured. Apparently the robotic machine was equipped with heat sensor, so the “Cross-missmatched-crossing-missmatch-crossed“ stunt was useless against it!

Angered, the silver-back Gorilla ran towards the extreme trainer in the robotic machine. “DEEEEETTRRIIIIICCCCCCHHHHH!!!” the robotic machine shouted and the massive clubbed metal arms were thrusted towards the attacking silver-back Gorilla. The silver-back Gorilla met the attack head on with his massive gorilla fists and for unknown reasons, he managed to damage both the massive clubbed metal arms. All the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife, including the silver-back Gorilla himself were surprised! With great urgency, the extreme trainer get off the damaged robotic machine and jumped onto the silver-back Gorilla and threw his arms around the silver-back Gorilla’s mouth, trying to create a hermetic seal to cut off the silver-back Gorilla’s oxygen supply. The silver-back Gorilla grabbed onto the extreme trainer but the extreme trainer broke loose before the silver-back Gorilla can toss him.

The silver-back Gorilla continued practising!!

The extreme trainer cursed and quickly left the zoo. The silver-back Gorilla knew that the battle was not over, the extreme trainer can return anytime; the silver-back Gorilla needs to train harder to defeat the extreme trainer. The other animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife knew that they too need to prepare themselves so that they can finally bring the extreme trainer down! As the cross-missmatched Zebra rest, the other animals continue sharpening their skills till darkness crept into the bright sky…

The fire dance

The warm night passed almost instantaneously after the training yesterday for the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife. Upon the harsh greeetings from Mr.Sun, the animals of the zoo unwillingly prepared themselves for the possible encounter with the extreme trainer as the gold-dispensing Tapir was nowhere to be seen. Not long after the wake, the animals nearly jumped out of their skin when the extreme trainer jumped into the zoo with 2 flaming torches in his hands. Great, fire training today?!

The panda-eyed Sow, upon realizing that the extreme trainer was looking at her, performed her squint and sway stunt, this time with more intensity than before and somehow that mellowed the extreme trainer and she was spared yet again! The extreme trainer proceeded with the silver-back Gorilla, weilding the torches as though they were spike clubs. The usually slow silver-back Gorilla miraculously became agile at the sight of the flaming torches and before the extreme trainer could execute any moves, he was badly clubbed by the silver-back Gorilla’s huge keyboard!

The silver-back Gorilla's victory pose

It took the extreme trainer about an hour to recover from the concussion which gave time for the other animals to strengthen their guards. The extreme trainer stood up and flung one of the flaming torches towards the iron-board Rabbit. The iron-board Rabbit held her ground with her iron-clad chest, deflecting the torch while she prepared for her counter-attack. The iron-board Rabbit caught the extreme trainer off-guard with her high velocity regurgitated fecal-vomitus aimed at the extreme trainer’s mouth!

The iron-board Rabbit standing her ground

Unhappy with what he had just experienced, he grabbed the remaining torch and ran towards the animal that he thought was the weakest among the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife. He was very wrong. The readied long-limbed Giraffe used his exceptionally long limbs to whip the extreme trainer ugly and extinguishing the flame of the torch in the process. The extreme trainer, battered and bruised, quickly left the zoo to tend to his wounds.

The long-limbed Giraffe jumping happily after he got his revenge

Once again, with the hard work and cooperation among the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife, they managed to cheat death to live for another day! As the warm wind blew through their thick fur, the animals wondered what the extreme trainer has in store for them tomorrow...

2nd Encounter!

Mr.Sun dominates with iron fist for the whole day in the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife. The glare is so great that it temporary blinded the animals that dared to look outside of the zoo, causing them to cower in their respective dens for the rest of the day. Today, the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife will face the extreme trainer again.

The tension can be felt in the air as the extreme trainer stepped into the zoo compound. Today the extreme trainer is supposed to train the animals about managing and preventing the shock from the possible trauma that they might face in the great wilderness. Instead of training the animals the contemporary way, the extreme trainer decided to give the animals a hands-on experience. Perhaps that is necessary considering that none of the animals could understand a sound uttered by the extreme trainer.

You can only shaft a carrot into the iron-board Rabbit and nothing else!

The extreme trainer dashed across the zoo and grabbed the iron-board Rabbit, threatening to rape her; ah, what a crazy interspecies sex maniac! The iron-board Rabbit was nervous but with her iron-clad chest, she managed to block the extreme trainer’s grab and gracefully evaded the attack! Satisfied with the iron-board Rabbit’s performance, the extreme trainer threw some stones toward the long-limbed Giraffe and did a 720 degrees summersault kick which landed directly on the long-limbed Giraffe’s face! The long-limbed Giraffe fell unconscious on the spot and the extreme trainer just spat at him with an insulting face. Next, the extreme trainer tried on a couple of fancy moves on the huge-nostril Hippo but to no avail; all the huge-nostril Hippo did was activate his Turbo-powered Twin Turbine Dual Black Hole and the extreme trainer, unable to withstand the vacuum created, surrendered!

The fearsome huge-nostril Hippo

After a few minutes of rest, the extreme trainer managed to catch his breath back and launched an all out assault on the conglomerated-face Fox and the mini-me Butterfly. None of his attacks were connected because the conglomerated-face Fox was too fast, dodging his every blow while the mini-me Butterfly just flew to a superior horizon, out of the extreme trainer’s reach. The conglomerated-face Fox then displayed his victory post; pointing his index finger towards the sky. The extreme trainer, without wasting another second, caught on to the cross-missmatched Zebra and tried to strangle him. After a few moments of grappling and wrestling, the extreme trainer finally left the zoo.

The long-limbed Giraffe swore to avenge his fall!

Curious, the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife looked out of the zoo, at the extreme trainer. The extreme trainer was apparently chasing after a weird animals that dispenses gold as it moves and it’s appearance resemble that of a tapir. Perhaps that could be the gold-dispensing Tapir that the cross-missmatched Zebra has been talking so very much about lately? Who or whatever the animal is, the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife are glad that none of them died in this 2nd extreme training. As Mr.Sun slowly wanes, the animals hope that the extreme trainer will continue chasing after the gold-dispensing Tapir and get lost in the great wilderness…

Extreme trainer

Ah.. the battle between Mr.Sun and Mrs.Rain seem to have come to an end in the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife. Once again, with the Summer Peasants fully backing him up, Mr.Sun triumphed and showed signs of governing till Mrs.Rain can summon all her Autumn Minions for another decisive coup. In this bright and hot weather, the conglomerated-face Fox can be seen running frantically around the zoo with the same old hope of shedding some winter-accumulated blubber.

Today, a new trainer came to train the animals in the zoo of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife. This new trainer appeared to be very problematic for the animals as even the very skillful iron-board Rabbit couldn’t understand a movement from his sign language, let alone the weird sound that he produced. Angered with his inability to convey whatever he wanted to to the animals, the trainer took out his frustrations on the animals of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife!

The cross-missmatched Zebra continued chewing

The trainer started with the cross-missmatched Zebra; at 1st the trainer made some weird sound and proceeded with a combination of hand movements. Confused, the cross-missmatched Zebra continued chewing the remnant of the grass that he has in his mouth and in the process, made some “chap, chap” sound. The equally confused trainer then made some angry noise and looked at the panda-eyed Sow. He then continued with his weird sound and crazy hand movements combination and waited for the panda-eyed Sow’s reaction. The panda-eyed Sow merely gazed at that trainer and did her signature strabismic eye movement and swayed from side to side so that her loose blubber will move in a way that she thought was attractive… or cute, that didn’t matter.

The panda-eyed Sow doing her squint and sway

The trainer seemed to be taken in by the panda-eyed Sow’s squint and sway display because he didn’t made an angry sound after what the panda-eyed Sow did. Next, the trainer turned to the silver-back Gorilla, this time he did more weird sound and even more vigorous hand movements and after the completion of his watsoever,he stared hard at the silver-back Gorilla and he waited. He waited and he waited, and finally the silver-back Gorilla, with his lazy eyes, looked back at the trainer and said “Fuck you arsehole!” It was then that the trainer made a very angry sound as though he understood what the silver-back Gorilla had said and the trainer finally gave up and left the zoo.

With his lazy eyes the silver-back Gorilla said..

Thus, yet another sunny day went unwasted in the zoo of the weird and wonderful world of wayward wildlife. The trainer was supposed to train the animals about managing in extreme situation, but instead the extreme trainer left the animals in an unmanaged situation. The three animals cheated death today, but will they be able to continue doing so in the coming training days?

In an unrelated story the panda-eyed Sow was disturbed by some mythical creatures while she was eating loudly in the zoo and she also thought that her mouth is her anus… Too much squinting and swaying, perhaps?